Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Randomize
