i just wanna soil my oats bro
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
Randomize