He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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