i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
Terrible idea I love it
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
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