I think im going to throw up on grandma
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
The dick lei will go down in squad history
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Randomize