there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
