I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
Randomize
