Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
I just had sex on a roof
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
