i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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