Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Randomize
