If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
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