How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
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