Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
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