Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(608): View more from Wisconsin

i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex

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(416): View more from Toronto

I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.

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(407): View more from Florida

Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.

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(239): View more from Florida

You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.

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(315): View more from New York

Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.

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(404): View more from Georgia

my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.

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(916): View more from California

WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!

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(302): View more from Delaware

She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.

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(517): View more from Michigan

when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.

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