For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize
