you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize
