i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
I didn't notice because vodka
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Randomize
