Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Randomize
