If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
Randomize
