Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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