Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
our cab driver is having phone sex.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize
