I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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