who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Are we still banned from the library?
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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