Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
