Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
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