Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
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