I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
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