I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Randomize
