it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Randomize