he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize