..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
