just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
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