Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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