it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Randomize
