Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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