i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
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