In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
