Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
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