atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
