The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
