TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
Randomize