Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
Randomize