I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
