Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
Randomize
