I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
Randomize
