U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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