I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
