I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Randomize
