no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
In other news, I just burned my penis
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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