Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
My penis needs a shock collar
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Randomize
