I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
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