do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Randomize
