I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
Randomize