Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
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