Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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