boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
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