Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Randomize
