im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
