I molested 6 butterflies tonight
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize
