Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Randomize
