Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Randomize
