I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Randomize
