He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Randomize
