i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Success! We fucked roommates!
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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