No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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