He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Randomize