I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
Also, beer. Big fan.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
