I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
The struggles of a small town man whore
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
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